A view of autism from along the spectrum

I spent a lot of time over the past week or so working very hard at what looks like absolutely nothing.

What I really worked so hard at is actually ‘not reacting.’ Behavior outbursts are a come and go problem in our home. Now that our son is settled in to his new school, I’ve made an effort to get some of the other routines back to normal. Not surprisingly, I ran into some resistance.

I was unprepared for the magnitude of the resistance the first evening and the situation escalated quickly. I didn’t get too far into it when I realized that the best thing I could do was back off and let my wife take over, even if it meant taking a step backward in the effort to establish routine. If I kept going, we’d take two or three steps backwards. I had no patience and I was making things worse.

The next day I was ready. I put my ABA (Amateur Behavior Analyst) hat on and prepared to do nothing during the outburst that was sure to come. When it came, I unemotionally directed my son to follow me to my bedroom where I turned on a soft light and lay across the bed reading a book. I provided no positive reinforcement and barely acknowledged the outburst. I left him to continue the outburst on the bedroom floor. I provided some occasional back scratching and distracted him with talk during lulls in the outburst. Eventually the outburst subsided and he finished the nighttime routine with lots of positive reinforcement.

The outbursts continued each evening and I continued to ‘do nothing’. I spent so much time doing nothing that I read over a quarter of David McCullough’s 1,100 page biography of Harry Truman. I also did some more back scratching, provided some redirection, and modeled some sensory activities.

This is not the first time I’ve been through this cycle and I know its not the last. It can be incredibly difficult to hang on through the outburst showing no emotion but a smile. Focusing on the goal provides the strength for me.

It’s paying off. I’ve had less time to read each night and I haven’t been as emotionally drained by the time bedtime is over. I even had enough time to blog tonight!