My intermittent breaks from blogging have been a very tangible indication of the cycles that my life takes. When I started this blog almost two years ago I would have felt a fair amount of guilt for not sticking with it diligently. Not so any more. I’ve become more willing to accept the cycles. It’s easier to roll with them than to fight them.
I wrote a few posts about some of the difficulties MJ has had over the past several months. While the times have been challenging for me, I know that they are much harder for him. I’ve been working at teaching / coaching / guiding him to navigate his way through the challenges. Some of the solutions require some personal growth for MJ, while others require that we continue to adapt the environment to his needs. Others require careful medication management. All of these require that my wife and I stay on top of our game if we want to make a long term difference.
Parenting has consumed a tremendous amount of emotional energy over the last few months. There’s been very little energy left at the end of the day for either writing or reading blogs. I made a choice to conserve the energy that could be spent talking about autism on-line and instead keep that energy in reserve for parenting. It’s one of the ways that I’ve learned to adapt to the cycles. A wise man named Jimmy once wrote, I’ve had good days and bad days and going half mad days. None of the days last forever but it’s good to have some energy in reserve if needed.
I’ve seen so many changes in MJ over the past few months. While the challenges have been immense, so has his growth. The biggest indication of growth is that he is also learning to roll with some of the cycles. There’s a long way to go, but he is learning. Watching my boys grow is one of the greatest feelings I’ve known.
That’s enough of a rant for now. It’s time to get back to writing. As a wise man named Harry once wrote, All my life’s a circle.