Comments on: Parenting: Its Not That Different http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/ A view of autism from along the spectrum Mon, 08 Sep 2008 04:24:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.2 By: Along the Spectrum » 3 Things I Don’t Miss http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-7032 Along the Spectrum » 3 Things I Don’t Miss Fri, 24 Aug 2007 01:38:57 +0000 http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-7032 [...] written before that parenting, at it’s core, is not much different whether you are parenting a child on the [...] […] written before that parenting, at it’s core, is not much different whether you are parenting a child on the […]

]]> By: Club 166 http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-6626 Club 166 Sun, 29 Apr 2007 04:06:53 +0000 http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-6626 Love your parameters. Glad to see that someone else also feels that "parenting is parenting". Sure, there are unique challenges to parenting a child on the spectrum, but <i>all</i> kids are unique and require their unique needs taken into account. The only other thing I would add is that besides the quantitative difference in demands, that there are also a greater number of re-evaluations/course corrections that I find myself making. Sort of the difference between driving a VW Beetle at 40 mph around a race course, vs. driving a Porsche 911 at 140 mph around the same course [not that I've ever had the opportunity :( ]. Love your parameters. Glad to see that someone else also feels that “parenting is parenting”. Sure, there are unique challenges to parenting a child on the spectrum, but all kids are unique and require their unique needs taken into account.

The only other thing I would add is that besides the quantitative difference in demands, that there are also a greater number of re-evaluations/course corrections that I find myself making. Sort of the difference between driving a VW Beetle at 40 mph around a race course, vs. driving a Porsche 911 at 140 mph around the same course [not that I’ve ever had the opportunity :( ].

]]> By: Shawn http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-6624 Shawn Sat, 28 Apr 2007 22:47:56 +0000 http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-6624 @VAB, I agree about the quantitative demands. I thought about addressing this in my post, but you've described it much better than I would have. In the context of my post, I'd say that parents of kids on the spectrum need to make <em>more</em> decisions about balance. Each decision is work, both in making the choice and following through on the choice. But each child is different and some NT children also require that parents make a lot of difficult choices about balance. I don't want to minimize the difficulty of keeping this balance for kids on the spectrum, but perhaps we can find some comfort in remembering that many other parents have similar struggles, even if the context of the challenges are very different. @VAB, I agree about the quantitative demands. I thought about addressing this in my post, but you’ve described it much better than I would have. In the context of my post, I’d say that parents of kids on the spectrum need to make more decisions about balance. Each decision is work, both in making the choice and following through on the choice.

But each child is different and some NT children also require that parents make a lot of difficult choices about balance. I don’t want to minimize the difficulty of keeping this balance for kids on the spectrum, but perhaps we can find some comfort in remembering that many other parents have similar struggles, even if the context of the challenges are very different.

]]> By: VAB http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-6621 VAB Sat, 28 Apr 2007 01:05:00 +0000 http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-6621 I agree completely. I would add, however, that the world around us is build for NT kids. From toys that make noises, to the plots of movies (which our guy can't help finding irrational and unfair) to after-school activities on offer at the local community center, to typical lesson plans at school, there is an abundance of stuff that doesn't fit what our guy needs. So, for me, patenting a kid on the spectrum also involves being a researcher/scavenger and, in a way a sort of filer or negotiator that stands between the big wide world and our guy. Of course, this is not qualitatively different from the business of parenting an NT child, but quantitatively it seems to me to be quite a step up. Of course, never having parented an NT child, I could be wrong. I agree completely. I would add, however, that the world around us is build for NT kids. From toys that make noises, to the plots of movies (which our guy can’t help finding irrational and unfair) to after-school activities on offer at the local community center, to typical lesson plans at school, there is an abundance of stuff that doesn’t fit what our guy needs. So, for me, patenting a kid on the spectrum also involves being a researcher/scavenger and, in a way a sort of filer or negotiator that stands between the big wide world and our guy. Of course, this is not qualitatively different from the business of parenting an NT child, but quantitatively it seems to me to be quite a step up.

Of course, never having parented an NT child, I could be wrong.

]]> By: mcewen http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-6620 mcewen Fri, 27 Apr 2007 23:06:27 +0000 http://www.alongthespectrum.com/2007/04/parenting-its-not-that-different/#comment-6620 Balance is what we're all striving for. Best wishes Balance is what we’re all striving for.
Best wishes

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