Comments on: Observations on Empathy

By: Gilbert Wesley Purdy

Gilbert Wesley Purdy — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 03:31:13 +0000

Being new here, I can only assume that MJ is toward the Asperger’s or otherwise high-functioning side of the spectrum. This and the fact that the conversation that you overheard represents only a single aspect from the many that are presently labeled “empathy” brings to mind a couple of points.

From my personal experience, I’ve learned to empathize in the fashion described above but am aware that it doesn’t have the same emotional value for me as it does for neurotypicals. I highly value my hard won ability for the greater normalcy it allows me in personal relationships and for the degree of participation it gives me in the emotional world of others.

I even ask spontaneously about emotional trials revealed to me in past conversations on rare occasion but I am still not good at it and doubt I ever will be. Tell me your pain and I will genuinely feel bad about it, but hope for me to bring it up the next time we meet and you are likely to be disappointed, to feel hurt. It’s not that I don’t remember it, it’s just that it’s not in one of the categories that habitually uploads into consciousness when my brain does its “approaching another human being” checklist. There are many such categories of “empathy,” each of which tends to need to be dealt with individually.

But I can never help but ask (or at least think), during these conversations “Why is the Autistic person necessarily ‘wrong’ on all counts?” Didn’t neurotypicals’ deep and abiding empathy with the cries of the victims of the Twin Towers, on 9/11, make them easily manipulated by the neocons who wanted to attack Iraq? Even some of those who I was quite close to at the time bared their teeth more than once when I suggested that their weaknesses were being played upon in order to empower a political faction’s convenient grab for power. This is only the most obvious example.

One of the types of empathy that I certainly appreciate not having is the tendency to get caught up in group frenzy. Nor have I ever felt the desire to participate in ostracizing anyone. I’m an absolutely hopeless case.

These are all examples of empathy. Those who are sufficiently functional, on the autism spectrum, might represent certain talents vis-a-vis empathy that trigger neurotypical biases.

By: marie-helene

marie-helene — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 09:28:17 +0000

my son’s head teacher comments to me daily that he has a total lack of empathy for other children. this has distressed me greatly because i know he DOES HAVE a huge capacity for empathy. yet i could not explain the discrepancy in our perceptions of his behaviour until i read your post. thank you for putting my thoughts in to something i can fire back!

By: Elissa

Elissa — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 10:11:55 +0000

My son has days where we are amazed at the empathy he shows, and other days where he is oblivious to whatever is happening around him - showing no sign of empathy at all and yes I’m sure it relates totally to his understanding of each situation. Thanks for sharing!

By: VAB

VAB — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 21:38:59 +0000

By George, I think you’ve got it. Really. That is a very pertinent observation. I hope some psychologists read your blog.

By: DiAnne

DiAnne — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 03:25:54 +0000

I found your site very interesting and thought you might be interested in the art of this little autistic boy from the Philipines. He was inspired by the events of 9/11.

http://silencedmajority.blogs.com/silenced_majority_portal/2007/09/september-11th-.html

By: Angela

Angela — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 19:48:33 +0000

Good point of view… when I see my child bitting and hurting other children and laughing her head off I wonder if she will ever know what empathy is… but I got to a stage with her now where she’s starting to understand other people feelings…

By: bev

bev — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 15:06:43 +0000

Yes.